my broken bellarina
by Written-Not Heard
Summary: OC AH AU romance/angst/hurt/comfort. She was like no other. So full of passion, life...sadness; like an angel missing her wings. My angel cries when she thinks no one sees, but I do she should never cry. So why does she? RATED T FOR SAFETY
1. Prologue

**A/N: the italicized stuff are memories and the non-italicized is the present.**

** OC AH AU. She was like no other. So full of passion, life...sadness; like an angel missing her wings. My angel cries when she thinks no one sees, but I do she should never cry. So why does she?**

**BREAKING NEWS: I AM LOOKING FOR A BETA-READER FOR THIS STORY. PM ME OF YOURE INTERESTED.**

Prologue

I am perfectly still; I stand in fifth position: heel of my right foot touching front of my right, with my leg twisted slightly and both heels touching the floor. Arms down and curved slightly in a rounded shape; both arms are loose and relaxed. My eyes are closed, in my mind I see snippets of them as my memories flutter before me.

_"Oh baby," she said in a soft sigh._

I can practically feel her hand upon my cheek, caressing it lightly as I lean closer into her hand.

_"Look at her, Charlie, isn't she gorgeous?"_

_"Of course Renee, our Bells is always beautiful."_

Tensing I bend at the knees before springing up into the air, leaning to my right as my feet point. While in the air my arms move quickly to the sides my right flowing to my front, while the left above my head.

_"Once more Bella," her eyes alight as she watches me practice my triple pirouettes._

_"Oh you're so lovely my little Swan," she claps delightedly as I slow to a stop._

I come down softly, the toes of my right foot meeting the ground first followed by the heel. My left leg swings in front to cross before the right as I come down in a bent 5th position.

_"Guess what Daddy," my 6 year old self shouts, "I get to be a Wilis."_

_"A wil-wha-whos-it," he asks face scrunched in confusion._

_"Oh silly Daddy," 7 yr old me sits in his lap, "a Wilis. It's a ghost in Giselle; I wanted to be Giselle but teacher says I have to be taller and older first."_

_"Well I can't wait to see my Bells be a Wilis," he began tickling me as I shrieked with laughter._

I rise to my full height, arms curved in front of me; I point my right foot and raise it a quarter ways to the side, then my left foot then pointing twice to raise myself up and down. A perfect battement fondu.

_"Come on Bella, we're going to be late," she called up the stairs._

_"Do I look pretty Momma…Daddy?"_

_"You look stunning lil lady," he chuckled._

_"Lovely," she gave me a kiss on the forehead._

Coming down for the last time, I take a deep breath before completing with a slow triple fouettés en tournant.

_ "Oh my darling you were fantastic."_

_"Your mother's absolutely correct," he said sweeping me into his arms. My 6 year old self, laughs as he spins me around._

_"You were perfect," my mother gushes as she hugs my father and I._

_"You are our prima little Bellarina," they both whisper in my ear._

A strangled sob escapes my mouth as I collapse to the ground. All control and restraint gone as memories locked away come crashing back

**Author Note: **

**Alright people this is my broken bellarina the RE-write. I had to make a MAJOR change to the original and it was just easiest for me to take it down re-write and repost. Okay thanks. And yes the prologue is the Same as the original. When I repost my story you all might be like WTF what change?**

**Well there Is a change and if you didn't notice it I don't care just read please. **

**I will be reposting chapter 2 later today and ch.3 either thur/ fri/ mon**

**By the way Review are APPRECIATED. I APPRECIATE those who reviewed on the original**


	2. Mrs Cullen but please call me Esme

Chapter 1 Mrs. Cullen but please call me Esme

This is it today is the day I'm going home; back to the little itsy bitsy doesn't-see-the-sun-for-weeks-on-end town of Forks, Washington. As I board the small plane taking me from Olympia to Port Angeles. I mull over all that's happened to me in the past few weeks.

I had recently been accepted into the Port Angeles Art Conservatory, on a full 2 year scholarship. I was extremely grateful; as this opportunity gave the option to pursue my dreams of ballet and Julliard; plus the chance to finally leave behind my past in Olympia. Though I was leaving one past behind I had another waiting to be confronted in Forks.

"Passengers, this is your Captain speaking. We will be landing in a few minutes, so please buckle up. Also we might experience a bit of turbulence. I repeat please buckle up. Please note we might experience a bit of turbulence. Thank you."

I sighed as I buckled myself up and placed my carry-on in my lap.

* * *

"Miss?"

"Yes," I replied tilting my face to the direction of the voice.

"Do you need any help, departing?"

I shook my head, before grabbing my carry-on bag. In a rush to get off the plane, I tripped and inwardly cursed my extreme clumsiness. Heading to the direction of the baggage claim I quickly took refuge near a large white support pillar.

Frowning I tried to concentrate on the people around me trying to find who was supposed to pick me up from the airport. But the echoing noise was giving me a headache with all the sounds echoed off high domed ceilings, I closed my eyes trying to relax.

"Swan…Isabella Swan," a gentle musical voice called my name.

"Y-yes may I ask who y-you are," I stuttered nervously, opening my eyes.

"Why of course," the woman chuckled, "My name is Esme…Esme Cullen. I'm from the Conservatory."

"Oh of course; pleased to meet you Miss Cullen," I spoke quietly.

Silently I assessed the woman. She was of average height, but was dressed in a simple pale cream v-neck long sleeve dress, it color offset with a deep brown set of heels and small handbag. Her blonde hair was down set in gentle curls at the ends, her expression soft and hazel eyes warm. In fact everything about her radiated a motherly aura.

"Mrs. actually, but please call me Esme. Now do you have any luggage?"

"No, I…um…had it shipped to Forks."

"Very wise of you Miss Swan. Since that's taken care of why don't we head to the Conservatory?"

"Oh um of course," I replied shyly, a blush heating my face, "but please call me Bella.

* * *

[Esme POV]

"I offer my sincerest thanks Esme, in helping us with our newest student"

"Oh it's no problem. No problem at all Emilia; now you said you had some…concerns about Miss Swan," I questioned sitting across from the headmistress of Port Angeles Art Conservatory

"Oh yes, we were wondering if you might b e able to pick her up from the airport and later give her a ride to Forks."

"Why certainly, is the girl visiting family?"

"No Miss Swan has a home in Forks, where she will be living," Ms. Strife sighed.

"She will be driving to and from the conservatory and attending school at Forks High. Miss Swan has shown a great aptitude for learning and desire to attend this school."

I sat for a moment, thinking. My own two youngest adopted children attended Forks High and the conservatory for night and occasional weekend classes.

"Enough of Miss Swan, I also wanted to congratulate you on your son's marriage. His wife seems a lovely woman and very beautiful."

"Yes, she is. The ceremony was beautiful. I do believe they return in about a week. Now when did you say Miss Swan's flight lands?"

"Oh gracious, in about half an hour, I won't detain you any longer. Thank you so much for doing this. I don't even know how I can begin to repay you for this."

"Its no hassle," I spoke softly, "I'm happy to do this little errand"

Smiling softly I exited the room went to my car and made my way to the airport.

* * *

Holding a picture of Isabella Swan on it I made my way through airport security to the baggage claim where Isabella was to be waiting.

Patiently I scanned the sea of people, speculating which could be the mysterious Miss Isabella Swan.

I scanned the crowd patiently, before spotting the girl; she was leaning against a large support column; stance tensed a frown tugging at her mouth and eyes closed.

I approached slowly, stopping a few feet away I called out, "Swan…Isabella Swan?"

"Y-yes may I ask who y-you are," Isabella stuttered out opening her eyes, looking weary and nervous.

"Why of course," I chuckled, trying to ease her nervousness, "My name is Esme…Esme Cullen. I'm from the Conservatory."

"Oh- of course; p-pleased to meet you Miss Cullen," she spoke quietly, relaxing a bit.

She must be nervous, I thought sympathetically.

"Mrs. actually but please call me Esme. Now do you have any luggage?"

"No, I…um…had it shipped to Forks."

"Very wise of you Isabella. Since that's taken care of why don't we head to the Conservatory?"

"Oh um of course, but please call me Bella," she replied, a blush adorning her visage.

Silently, I lead her out of the airport and to the car.

"So…what's the conservatory like," Bella asked, looking slightly at ease but still shy.

"Well the conservatory offers all kinds of classes, though I'm quite sure that you have already been well informed. The Conservatory offers day and night classes. It also partners with local high schools and community colleges, so students can use the classes as extracurricular credits. Not only that but at the beginning of 2cnd semester and the 2 weeks after spring break there is a weeklong art exhibition where the students can "show off" their talents to the public, scouts and colleges such as Julliard."

"Interesting," she muttered to herself.

Deciding to remain silent as the girl seemed deep in concentration; I kept at bay the questions that threatened to spill forth. Letting out a mental sigh of relief, I parked the car and announced our arrival.

Standing outside of the car Bella

"Um E-Esme," she said walking close to me, face pinking lightly.

"Yes," she spoke in her soft musical voice.

"Do you-um think you might be able to um…tell me more about the school."

"Of course, all you have to do is ask.

Bella nodded, her hair obscuring part of her face.

"Well the campus consists of 6 buildings. The Shiata: it's the campus theater. Most student performances are showcased there, such as the Fall Fashion Flaunt and the Annual Winter Play. The next building is Performance Hall. It's where all performing art classes are held, mostly dance and acting classes. The hall has 4 floors; it's the second largest building on campus. The first floor is for actor, actresses and singers, the second for musicians, and the third dancers. The fourth is a small practice theater."

"The third building is the Anime; it means "see" in Latin. Basically any classes having to do with visual arts; painting, drawing and the like; it has 2 stories and a rooftop level for outdoor artwork. The fourth building Design hall, but the students call it the Couture House. There are mostly fashion design classes held but there are a few architects, interior designers and such, classes are held as well. The fifth building is just faculty offices, on-campus dining area and café."

"The last building, are private studios available for student use; there are 5 stories and a basement. The basement is a recording studio, the first floor consists of about 10 small studios, 2nd to the 4th floor are 5 studios a floor and the fifth floor has only 2 studios. All of the studios are completely sound proof, except the 5th floor. Not many students use the 5th floor because there is no elevator in that building."

"I wonder…," the quiet girl muttered to herself.

Refraining from interrupting her train of thought, I lead her into the offices.

"Bella," I said softly, pulling her from privacy of her mind.

"Hmm?"

"Well, this is where we part. Don't worry I'll swing by in about 2 hours to pick you up and take you to Forks."

"Um ok then. See you later…Esme," she waved before entering the headmistress's office.

**Author Note:**

**ALL RIGHT PEEPS! SO LISTEN UP! **

**I want to thank**

**Miss Interested, The Enigmatic Rose, PearlAngel16, aerobelle.**

**Thank you so much for reviewing my original. I appreciate it.**

**I also want to thank everyone who has faved or story alerted my story so far.**

**To **Rorathetwilighter:

**No that was not Edward talking. That was Bella's POV**.

**Shiata mean theater in Japanese I think well that's what the translator said. **


	3. Let's play pretend

Chapter 2 Let's play pretend.

This is it Bella you can do this. You are strong enough to do this. I chanted to myself as I sat tensely in my seat, getting even more on edge the closer and closer Esme drove to my childhood home. The home I hadn't been inside of since I was 7 years old. That had been 9 years ago…ugh I cannot be doing this. Why am I even doing this? Maybe I can get Esme to just take me back to Port Angeles. Yes, yes that is a wonder full plan.

I turn in my seat to speak but Esme beat me to it.

"We're here Bella."

Dang it, I scowled miserably but hastily smothered it with a blank smile

"Thank you Esme for giving me a ride home."

"Oh it's no problem. If you ever need help, please don't hesitate to call," she smiled softly as she pressed a business card into my hand.

Keeping my face cheerfully void and composed, I exited the car and gave the woman a small wave a she backed out of the driveway. When her car was no longer visible I walked toward the front door.

Come on Bella it can't be that bad, you haven't seen the house for years surely it can't be that horrible.

Scrambling together all of the courage I could I jerked my head up to look at the house. I was right it wasn't horrible it was so much worse it was absolutely terrifying.

The house was exactly as it had been all those years ago, when I was just a little girl.

"_Mommy! Play with me!" a little girl shouts as she twirls around the yard; dress flaring out._

_Coming to a stop she falls to the ground beside a woman, her mother, on a big blue picnic blanket._

"_Oh my silly Bella," the woman chuckles, pulling the small girl onto her lap. _

"_What exactly do you want to play," she asks capturing Bella's attention._

"_Mmm," Bella makes a face going over the choices in her head. Meanwhile a man comes and sneaks up to the small girl._

"_Ahh," he yells scooping up the girl._

"_Daddy," she shrieks happily as he twirls her around and around._

"_Yes my lil Bells," he asks holding her._

"_Play with me," she wriggles out of his grasp, running in the yard. _

"_I'm gonna getchya," he shouts chasing her._

Shaking away the thoughts of the past, I pull the house key from my small backpack. Taking a deep breath I close my eyes and unlock the door. Hearing the once familiar click of the door unlocking, I step into my once upon a time haven and home that is now nothing but old memories of loss and pain.

I can't ignore it anymore can I? Releasing my held breath I opened my eyes and stepped further into the foyer. It's just as I remember it. The old creaky wooden stairs right in front of the door. Turning to my left I walk under the archway into the joint living room and kitchen.

Running my fingers against the smooth granite countertops, it's like I can almost see her again. She would be in the kitchen: cooking. Breakfast…lunch…dinner it didn't matter the meal, but she would always have music playing as she bustled to and fro; somehow always moving to the beat of whatever song.

"_You're silly mommy," 7 year old Bella claps as she watches her mother dance about the kitchen._

"_Yes, Bella-baby, but I am you're silly mommy," she laughs touching her finger lightly to her daughter's nose._

_Grabbing her daughter's hand she pulls her into the kitchen and the both dance crazily to the tune; both singing along._

Sighing wistfully, I turn away from the kitchen fearing the tears threatening to pool in my eyes. Ignoring the living room altogether and climb the stairs, each step seeming to be weighed down heavily with a torrent of emotions. I reach the landing and go to my left opening the first door I come to my room. The walls are still painted a soft lilac and the ceiling a mural of the sky. The room was bare and empty but one it used to be so much more I thought sadly as I sunk back into memories of the past.

"_Momma," 5 year old my bounces on the bed; my blue nightgown flaring out._

"_Bella,' she scold softly, "you're supposed to be asleep."_

"_But momma you promised you would read me a story," I fall to the bed gracelessly._

"_Well in that case," she scooped me up and took me to the large shelves on the other side of my room, "now what should we read tonight Bella-baby?"_

"_Oh I know," I said excitedly reaching my hand out, "__The Nutcracker__."_

_Grabbing the book off the shelf she set it down on my nightstand and proceeded to tuck me in. _

"_All set?" she asked sitting on edge of the bed. Snuggling into the blankets I nodded._

"_Ok," she picked up the book and flipped to the appropriate page._

"_Once upon a time there was a young girl and her name was Clara," my eyes flickered close as I slipped into dreamland letting the comforting sound of her voice wash over me._

Blinking back tears I left the room gently shutting the door behind me. Crossing the landing I past the bathroom door and went to my parent door. I placed my hand on the knob and knew that if I didn't go in I never would.

Summoning the rest of my resolve I let me eyes flutter shut and opened the door. I stepped in and noiselessly shut the door. I had memorized this room as a child so I had no need to open my eyes as I walked into the center of the room. Wrapping my arms around me I slowly opened my eyes as the memories washed over me.

I was four and there was thunderstorm raging violently. As a very young child thunder had frightened me with its loud noise. I remember curling up in between my parents; their very presence soothing my fears and putting me at ease.

Walking to the connected master bathroom a scent tickled my nose; before hitting me so hard I began to sob.

"_Here Bella-baby spritz a lil of that on your wrist, rub 'em and then dab it on your neck," she said as she demonstrated how to apply perfume. _

"_Okay," I reached my hand out and took the bottle. I had always loved the scent of my mother's perfume it had an airy fresh scent with a tropical hint. I was pulling off the lid to but I couldn't open. I didn't want to ask for help._

_Finally yanking at the top the perfume went flying and spraying perfume all over the curtains and wall. _

"_Bella stay right there," she ordered as she gathered up the largest pieces of glass and threw them away. Grabbing a small dust bin and handle broom she swept away the glass and threw it away as well._

_As she turned to look at me I spoke looking down at my feet, "sorry for breaking your perfume momma."_

"_Bella-baby" she tilted my head up, "it's okay just ask for help next time, okay?"_

_I nodded, "now your bathroom smells like you. I like it."_

"_I like it too," she chuckled._

I fell to the floor sobbing I just couldn't take it anymore! I absolutely hated this house, but I can't let it go. There are so many memories, so many good ones that I can't bear to part with or deal with. Wiping the tears I resolved to make this house mine, if I was going to be living here for the next two years then I would do so on m terms, I just hope I actually I have it in me to change my childhood home.

**A/N: so its been awhile**


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